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night 4;
[this trial was worst than the last.
lara and luke had both been people he liked well enough, spoke to decently often in the last couple of days—and generally got along with, lara's aggressive pinning him to the wall when they first met aside. but they'd been left with an awful choice and a split vote, and then to top it off, elizabeth having to do the honors just seemed like worst.
he likes these people, he doesn't want this for them.
and he can't even hold it against luke that he was a traitor in hiding his status as staff, because... shit happens. he'd betrayed too many people and he's been betrayed well before this whole screwed up situation fell in alvin's lap. but neither of them had been responsible for killing rayfa and it still sucks that this is how it's all happening.
the second he has the opportunity, while others are reeling and checking on elizabeth, alvin slips out of the room quietly, stepping well away from where the day's events took place—
and slamming his fist into the wall next to the door to the commissary.]
Dammit... [his fist lingers there, and he sucks in a breath through his teeth. he's frustrated and has no idea how to cope like an adult at all. good job, alvin.]
lara and luke had both been people he liked well enough, spoke to decently often in the last couple of days—and generally got along with, lara's aggressive pinning him to the wall when they first met aside. but they'd been left with an awful choice and a split vote, and then to top it off, elizabeth having to do the honors just seemed like worst.
he likes these people, he doesn't want this for them.
and he can't even hold it against luke that he was a traitor in hiding his status as staff, because... shit happens. he'd betrayed too many people and he's been betrayed well before this whole screwed up situation fell in alvin's lap. but neither of them had been responsible for killing rayfa and it still sucks that this is how it's all happening.
the second he has the opportunity, while others are reeling and checking on elizabeth, alvin slips out of the room quietly, stepping well away from where the day's events took place—
and slamming his fist into the wall next to the door to the commissary.]
Dammit... [his fist lingers there, and he sucks in a breath through his teeth. he's frustrated and has no idea how to cope like an adult at all. good job, alvin.]
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[COME ON, ALVIN...]
What are you even talking about?
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I just mean, my line of work's put me in a lot of bad situations, It was either suck it up and move on, or dwell on it and get myself or... someone important killed.
[#clarity] It's pretty much the same here, isn't it?
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...It may be, but that doesn't mean we should just give up on this sorta thing, you know? That's...what's the point if we don't...even feel anything about it anymore?
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Who knows? Maybe there's not one. Maybe it's just easier to care more about waking up every day than what that sometimes costs.
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[Because sadly, there'll be a next time.]
Starting to think you can't be left alone.
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[alice? really isn't wrong here, honestly.]
I guess even in this place, it's always kids being the one to check up on me. [why is this normal for him? we just don't know.]
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[He doesn't sound very judging, though; if anything, it's kind of nice to be able to do this for Alvin. (???)]
But I'm not gonna stop either way.
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[he's a pathetic adult, it's fine. he knows it?]
Sounds about right either way. You've got a bit of do-gooder in you, you know that?
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[Yes he does.]
I'm just trying to get through here, just like everyone else.
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[the denial, that is. but hey, at least the chiding seems to be lifting his spirits a bit.]
Most people are looking out for themselves more than anyone else.
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Well, with terms like that, who am I to refuse?